|Good God, it's been a long time since i wrote in this
||[Dec. 4th, 2008|09:27 am]
So much has changed and yet it hasn't. Here I go again, venturing again into MA. Why you ask? I don't really know except that I don't want to stay here in PA any longer and I don't know where else to go. Yeah, I have some new friendships growing in MA, that will be helpful with weathering the storm that is that place. I'm just hoping things will turn out well. My brain says no, my heart says yes. Who knows which will be right but as with the rest of my life it'll probably turn out to be a mixed pot. A stew of good, bad, love, indifference, drama and boredom. I have a close eye on one guy. He's in a relationship now but the more I get to know him the more he totally intrigues me, heart and mind. He's only been with his girlfriend a few months so I'm just kind of waiting to see what happens there. I honestly hope that they're very happy together and I wouldn't make a move while they're together, but if it doesn't work out I'm so calling dibs on this guy. Although I really should just forget about him as anything more than a friend because I already know it's going to start a shit ton of drama if we ever end up getting together. We'll see how I feel when I get back.|
Other than that there's nothing to really say. I'm finally done with the whole being in love with Mike thing finally. It's a relief, and part of the reason I need to get the fuck out of here. The tide of feelings has finally turned away from him and I'm too afraid of letting it go back. My friends here are awesome it's just not the close friendships I used to have. I feel like there's nothing left for me here, so I go.
I've faced my monster now I go
On feeling right and confident
cautious and anxious
to the next battle ground,
where I hope for no battles
but homecoming, love and acceptance.